Manners Matter: Ages 9 to 12

Graceful Eating

The Right Foot

What's the one thing that should never be absent from any dining table? If you said food, you're partly right. If you said manners, now you're cooking. Nutrition is the main reason we eat. But all kinds of rituals, social interactions, and even celebrations revolve around food. Whatever the occasion or meal, the three C's of etiquette (custom, courtesy, and common sense) should be your guide to being a graceful diner.

Civil Action

Plan a meal with your family or friends that will include a variety of foods, and several kinds of dishes and utensils. A potluck meal is one way to ensure a good mix. Research the different skills you'll need to get through the meal like a pro. Where do the different dishes and utensils go in each place setting? Which foods are finger foods and which should be eaten with a spoon or fork? In which direction is food passed from one diner to the next? You might even add place cards and other creative touches (see the "Table Magic" activity).

With your helper's assistance, write several scenarios on slips of paper and place them in envelopes at each place. For example, you might ask: "With which utensil should peas be eaten?" Or: "Where does the napkin go at the beginning of the meal? At the end?" After the meal, each diner should read aloud and try to answer each question. Discuss the reasons behind each example of manners: Did they develop from custom, courtesy, or common sense?

Extra Polish

Many special holidays call for special meals. Often there is a deep meaning and tradition behind these celebrations. What are some of the customs your family observes that revolve around special meals? Choose one of these traditions and research it's history. What special meaning is there in the foods that are served and the activities that surround the meal? Which customs are cultural, and which are specific to your family? What are their origins?

Finishing School

Share

• What actions do you take at the table that you don't have to think about? Which actions require more thought or are trickier to understand?
• Why do you think there are certain social "rules" about eating?
• What was the best part about the meal you shared with your family or friends?

Process

• Keeping your elbows off the table is one of the best known table manners. What do you think is the reason behind this rule of etiquette?
• Is there more than one correct answer to some etiquette questions? If there is conflicting advice on the subject, which do you follow?

Generalize

• How can knowing table etiquette make you more comfortable in everyday situations? On special occasions?

Apply

• How can you use what you learned about table manners to make yourself more socially savvy in other parts of your life?