Manners Matter: Ages 9 to 12

Telephone Technique

The Right Foot

Because it is a convenient way to communicate, the telephone is important to everyone. There are many kinds of manners to consider when using the phone: Can you be heard and understood easily? Are you friendly in the way you speak, even though you can't see the person on the other end of the line? What do you do when you get a person's answering machine or must speak to someone other than the person you called? Phone etiquette is mostly courtesy and common sense, just like the other manners you use every day.

Civil Action

Volunteer to be your family's telephone receptionist for one week. Answer all phone calls and help your parents or siblings place outgoing social calls or information calls (check for movie times, inquire about a product at a store, or check on a relative or friend).

When considering how to behave on the phone, think about how you would act if you did the same activity face-to-face. You probably wouldn't ring someone's doorbell past a certain time at night. You wouldn't mumble or chew a mouthful of food while talking with your friends. You wouldn't carry on several conversations at once. You should use the same thoughtfulness in your phone conversations. When deciding how to take a message when a family member is busy or not at home, think about what you'd want to know if one of your friends called while you were away.

Consider these tips while you run the telephone command center:

• When you place a call, identify yourself right away.
• When a caller asks for someone other than you, ask "May I tell him/her who is calling?" Then add a polite transition phrase like, "One moment please" instead of just dropping the receiver.
• Always offer to take a message for someone who is unavailable.
• When taking a message for someone, remember the three Ws: Who, When, and Why. Write down who called (ask for spelling of the person's name, if necessary), and note the time and the reason for the call.
• If you dial a wrong number, excuse yourself before hanging up. If others phone you in error, tell them politely that they have dialed the wrong number.
• Ask your parents how they wish to handle calls from telemarketers (people who sell products or services over the phone).
• If a person is busy or not at home, you need only tell the caller that the person is unavailable ("He can't come to the phone right now"), then politely offer to take a message. You don't have to detail what the person is doing or where he or she is.
• If you get a person's answering machine, don't hang up. At the prompt or beep, leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and a brief message. Speak slowly and clearly. If possible, mention a time when you can be reached.

Though phone manners are like other kinds of manners, you'll occasionally be unsure of what to do. Keep a log or list of the phone calls you make and receive. Tell your helper about any uncertainties you experienced and how you reacted. If you didn't handle a situation on the spot, follow up by investigating the appropriate steps to take. Make a guide to "Advanced Phone Manners" that describes some of these situations.

Extra Polish

Call waiting is a controversial phone feature in etiquette circles. This signal lets you know while you are on the phone that someone else is calling you. In general, answering call waiting breaches the rule of etiquette that you should not interrupt a conversation with one person to speak to someone else. However, for some people it is a necessary service. In what ways can call waiting be an important telephone option? How could a person use the call waiting feature in the most considerate way? How do you address each party before and after an interruption?

Finishing School

Share

• How many different kinds of phone calls did you make or take during the week?
• What was the most enjoyable part about talking on the phone?
• What examples of other people's polite and impolite behavior did you observe during your time in charge of the phone?
• How did people vary the way they answered the phone if they were at work?

Process

• Why does it matter how you address a stranger on the phone?
• If you're unsure of how to act on the phone, how can you discover what the appropriate behavior is?
• How is talking on the phone different from face-to-face communication? How is it similar?

Generalize

• Why is it important to be a good "phone citizen"?
• At what other time is it important to relay accurate information to someone?

Apply

• What did you learn that will help you be a good communicator beyond the telephone?